Part III on Procrastination
Last time, I wrote about why it’s easier for the ADHD-wired brain to fall into procrastination. I’m still not fond of that term – as it carries with it the old sense of punitive morality.
And now, here you are – or here I am – crushed by dread, in the swirl stomach churning, head pounding, can’t I just pull the covers back up anxious state that is procrastination.
Truthfully, that state of yuck is not about being late or starting late itself – it’s the negative feelings around the task. The task itself is just a task. It has no feelings. It is just something that has to be done. It’s all the emotions (and emotional baggage) around how we’ll perform that creates those negative feelings. And the by-product of those feelings is not getting started.
How might anyone – much less someone with a neurodivergent brain – get started with all that yuck inside?
The quick answer is this: Let go of shame. Make it fun. Connect to your better self.
But how? Here are 7 possible ways to move past procrastination. These strategies will work for most people, but they’re particularly helpful for the ADHD wired brain.
1) Forgive Yourself: OK, so you haven’t started. (Or you haven’t finished).
Yup, that happened. That can’t be changed. What can be changed is our thinking.
Beating ourselves up over what already happened will not get the project done.
I forgive myself for not doing this. I’m still working on managing my negative thoughts.
I am willing to let go of the past and to work on a healthier relationship with myself.
2) Evaluate: Do I really need to do this task? Is it worth my limited time and attention?
Could it be delegated to someone else?
Not everything needs to be done. No one is hurt by your unmade bed.
Not everything needs to be done by you. The world will still spin if you uncouple yourself from a commitment.
What if it does have to be done and you’re the person to do it?
Start with the language of agency: I choose to do this.
3) Think Bigger: How does choosing to do this resonate with my best self? What values am I tapping into when I do this task? Who will I be when I work on this task?
Find the bigger goal: I am a person who values understanding people better and researching and writing this anthropology paper will help me do that.
I am a person who loves having people over and doing the dishes makes my space feel more inviting.
4) Gather Resources: Who could I ask for help? What missing information might help me? Where’s my support team?
So many ADHD-ers don’t ask for help. We don’t think we’re worthy of it.
We are. If you’re still feeling alone with this task, consider just telling a casual stranger. Sometimes just telling someone (the librarian, the barista) I’m feeling stuck allows us to see ourselves as part of humanity.
5) Make It Sparkle: OK, time to unleash the creativity of the ADHD brain! How can I make this more fun?
Wear a boa and listen to outrageous music while cleaning.
Serve tea in a fancy cup while writing this paper.
Pretend that puppets are figuring out how to do this marketing.
Chat on the phone while gathering tax information.
Go to a coffee shop.
Whatever makes it fun for you. You’re on the right track, if you find yourself smiling.
6) Make it a Game: Add in some game elements! How much can get done before the timer goes off? Set up a star chart! Ask a friend to send you the task as a mission – You have 2 hours to complete this task.
7) Employ an Alter-Ego: You might not be able to get started practicing the piano, but your inner rock star can. There’s good evidence that pretending to be someone else helps us to vault over our own perceived limitations. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mr. Rogers, and put on a cardigan before I work. My Mister Rogers self is compassionate with my progress and consistent in showing up to work. I also pretend that I’m a world class financial whiz, when I sit down to do my bills. That financial wizard loves paying bills and does so with grace and ease!
And like everything we do, when we pretend to enjoy something, to feel at ease with a task, we are training our brains to feel this way. We actually can change our perceptions about a task – reducing those negative feelings and making getting started easier – when we take on an effective alter-ego.
I’m curious which of these will help me today (as I work on a big project) and which of these might help you, dear reader.
Let go of Shame.
Make it Fun.
Connect to Your Better Self.
In a future blog, I’ll talk about some pro-active steps ADHD-ers can take to ward off negative feelings around a task.